If I had a dime for every time some well meaning schmuck has said that to me,  (and by well meaning, I mean, utterly clueless) I could buy Neverland Ranch.  “You just don’t want to be happy.”

Hmmm….Ranks right up there with the shrink who told me the Zoloft wasn’t working because I didn’t want it to work. I am super fucking magical if I can control the success of a medication with negative thought alone.

But maybe the idgets are right. I DON’T want to be happy.

I am bipolar two. All my happy experiences are tied to manic episodes where I was “too happy”. I made impulsive decisions, I did things out of character for myself, I had no self awareness, no concept of consequences, I didn’t care who I hurt because I WAS TOO HAPPY.

The mistakes I made while too happy haunt me to this day…