People, People Everywhere

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That Anxious Mom

What does social anxiety feel like?

For me, it’s a huge weight on my chest and I want to go hide. It’s difficult to regulate my breathing, which makes my uneasiness more difficult to hide so that I seem somewhat normal.

It’s feeling like there are people everywhere, like the walls are closing in on me from all sides.

I’m hyper aware, which means when someone tries to talk to me, all the voices in the background, the sounds of the environment I’m in, etc. all sound ridiculously loud and bleed together and overlap with the voice of the person I’m trying to hear. That plus not being able to hear all that well to begin with creates a bit of a clusterfuck.

It’s a struggle to find my bearing and a struggle to not look like a freak.

That was last night at my baby brother’s graduation party.

And while…

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